Kae · in · Wonderland

You have been warned.

Can anyone explain why the internet is out for my blood?

My one fucking lifeline has been trying to kill itself ll bloody year.

And do not get me started on AIM, I might just shoot something.

I sucked at work today and feel fucking incompitent with all of technology, and let's face it, I am.

P.S.

I'm shaking like crazy now and you know exactly why, or at least you will when you sign back on your AIM, my friend. I'm furious and devistated at the same time. I cannot believe that rather than talk to me about it you would post that in your life journal. Thanks, I'm just returning the favour now.

You have to give to take. I haven't had your e-mail since our first websites, so don't even start with me not giving you mine. It's on my website (which has been linking you for a month now, with no link back I might add)

As for "avoiding" you, let's face it, I've done everything possible to keep in touch with you over the years. I join every forum, everything you ask me to in an effort to stay in touch. You name a website, I'm there within the hour. I check every forum you have asked me to daily. DevArt, TWF, MySpace, Societas, Cry's forum, all of them. Even AIM. I joined for you, Ming Yi, and Crystal. Do you think there was any other reason?

As for AIM logging in and out at random I can't really do much about that.

Could I have done better?

You bet.

And you?

Same deal.

My journals and comic strips are the same way.

Dry, mishapen, and tragic.

I'm lonely but I don't miss anyone in particular.

I miss having people around to drive me crazy I guess.

I talked to Stacey the other day and I realised that too was fake.

It seems as though not having the intellectual stimulation of school is drying me out, I'm listless.

German Classes are difficult and unproductive, I'd like to quit.

My skin feels like it could blow away.

I have no idea what isn't in my life that should be.

Andrew has become imperfectly perfect again.

If only he didn't want to rush it and take it too far.

He could be perfect.

I scream and scream and scream over and over again.

I AM A LIAR!

Then I scream

HOW IS THIS JUSTICE!?

I scream and sob.

Why is this how I have chosen to live my life?

I could be so much more.

I cry so much, on the inside because I want them to think I'm happy.

P.S.
http://empty-cage.net/miroku/
http://empty-cage.net/fool/

How Many Times Have You Woken Up And Prayed For The Rain?
How Many Times Have You Seen The Papers Apportion To Blame?
And Who Gets To Say?
Who Gets To Work And Who Gets To Play?
I Was Always Told At School Everybody Should Get The Same

How Many Times Have You Been Told If You Don't Ask You Don't Get?
How Many Liars Have Taken Your Money? Your Mother Said You Shouldn't Bet
But Who Has The Fun?
Is It Always A Man With A Gun?
Someone Must Have Told You If You Work Too Hard You Can Sweat

There's Always The Sun
There's Always The Sun
Always, Always, Always The Sun

How Many Times Have The Weathermen Told You Stories That Made You Laugh?
You Know it's Not Unlike The Politicions And The Leaders When They Do Things By Half
And Who Gets The Job?
Of Pushing The Knob
That Sort Of Responsibility You Draw Straws For If You're Mad Enough

There's Always The Sun
There's Always The Sun
Always, Always, Always The Sun.

Just wanna be misunderstood
Wanna be feared in my neighborhood
Just wanna be a moody man
Say things that nobody can understand

I wanna be obscure and oblique
Inscrutable and vague
So hard to pin down
I wanna leave open mouths when I speak
Want people to cry when I put them down

I wanna be either old or young
Don't like where I've ended up or where I begun
I always feel I must get things in the can
I just can't handle it the way I am

Why am I so straight and simple
People see through me like I'm made of glass
Why can't I deepen with graying temples
Am I growing out of my class

I always feel I should be somewhere else
I feel impatient like a girl on the shelf
They say that I should live sera sera
But I am such an ordinary star

Coolwalkingsmoothtalkingstraightsmokingfirestoking
Coolwalkingsmoothtalking, yeah

Just wanna be misunderstood
I wanna be feared in my neighborhood
Just wanna be a moody man
Say things that nobody can understand

Coolwalkingsmoothtalkingstraightsmokingfirestoking
Coolwalkingsmoothtalkingstraightsmokingfirestoking
Coolwalkingsmoothtalkingstraightsmokingfirestoking
Coolwalkingsmoothtalking, yeah

Pete Townshend & Ronnie Lane -- My theme song XP

I'm writing and drawing like I have a strange drug addiction, and I've read many major works from the major philosophers.

And as soon as I sign on the dotted line for my new job empty-cage.net will be born.

"My friends are lying in the sun I wish that I was there." - Atom Heart Mother (Pink Floyd)

Never thought I'd miss school, eh?

Melancholic.
Sometimes.
Enigmatic.
Eccentric.
Jovial.
Bitter.
Hysterical.
Liar.
Philosopher.
Poet.
Criminal.
Brilliant.
Insane.
Neither.
Sword.
Book.
Gun.
Sanctuary.
Asylum.
Wonderland.
Incentive.
Retrospect.
Living.
Dead.
Envy.
Wrath.
Pride.
Saint.
Demon.
Brave.
Tear.
Tear.
Never.
Seductive.
Whore.
Martyr.
Virgin.
Silent.
Screaming.
Solitary.
Hilarious.
Loyal.
Wink.
Sarcasm.
Average.
Extraordinary.

These words are a few of the multitude you may use to describe me. Do not forget me.

Hi Kae,

Congratulations! Your application to build and run the Black, Regulus Arcturus (Harry Potter Series) fanlisting in the Characters: Book/Movie category at The Fanlistings Network has been approved! We advise you to keep this email for future reference.

When we next post an update, your fanlisting will be listed in the updates blog as an upcoming fanlisting. It has also been added to the list of approved fanlistings in the Characters: Book/Movie category, which you can view here: http://www.thefanlistings.org/approved.php

There are some basic rules you MUST follow when building your fanlisting:

- complete your fanlisting within four weeks;
- link back to http://www.thefanlistings.org/ in a visible place on your fanlisting;
- make sure the rules of your fanlisting allow EVERYONE to join;
- make sure your join form requires members' names and countries (you may also require email addresses);
- include a 'last updated' date on the main or splash of your fanlisting, with the date in a universally-recognisable format, i.e. January 1st 2005;
- be prepared to update your fanlisting AT LEAST once every two months, even if nobody joins during that time;
- please don't call your fanlisting the 'official' fanlisting for your subject. Your fanlisting can only be official if it is approved by the person/subject. You can use the alternative: 'TheFanlistings.org approved fanlisting', or something similar;
- inform us via the update info form at http://www.thefanlistings.org/updateinfo.php if your email address changes.

We have some useful information at The Fanlistings Network which may help you to build your fanlisting - especially if it's your first!

- Rules: http://www.thefanlistings.org/start/rules.php
- FAQ: http://www.thefanlistings.org/faqs/
- For Fanlisting Owners: http://thefanlistings.org/menu/resources.php
- Links Centre - http://www.thefanlistings.org/links/
- Link to TFL: http://www.thefanlistings.org/linkhere/

When you have completed your fanlisting and made sure that it follows all of the rules outlined above, please submit a finished form at http://www.thefanlistings.org/finished.php to let us know the URL. Your completed fanlisting should be linked at The Fanlisting Network within four weeks.

If you realise that you are unable to complete your fanlisting within the four weeks you have been given, please use the contact form at http://www.thefanlistings.org/contact.php to request an extension. Make sure that you include all relevant details, including an explanation of why you need the extension, and an estimate of how long you think you will need to complete your fanlisting.

If you have any queries or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact us via the contact form at http://www.thefanlistings.org/contact.php and we will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thank you for your contribution to the network. We wish you the best of luck with your newly-approved fanlisting!

Meaghan, Jennifer, and Lucy
Characters: Book/Movie category
http://www.thefanlistings.org/


Okay, my faith in TFL has been redeemed!

Andrew works in the city too because he cannot bring himself to part with me, though, he works 4-11 and I work 9-5, hah! Try stalking me now hippie.

Of course, I cannot design the Raven fanlisting at my mother's friend's nor can I actually fix my Enth3 there... so my fanlistings are toast. Not that I'd be able to fix them anyways as it seems I can no longer program nor can I design websites. I just want to drown myself for a few minutes sometime.

Yes, I'm tired... I'm so very tired.